Faith

I have teamed up with some other bloggers to do a serious called, “Testimony Tuesdays”. The first Tuesday of each month we are given a topic to discuss and bear our testimony on. I thought this would be perfect for me to add a little variety to the blog and to gain confidence in discussing my faith, which is the most important thing in my life. Note: I am a Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You can learn more about the church here

This months topic is: FAITH

Coincidentally we discussed this very topic in Relief Society last Sunday. Even more amazing is the fact that I even know that. Having a 4 month old baby can be a little distracting. She happened to sleep through the whole thing so I had a rare opportunity to pay attention and be edified by the Lord’s spirit and the testimonies of others. A very interesting discussion broke out about whether or not faith can waiver, or if we simply stop believing. While there were many opinions, I will only share my own. Throughout my life my faith has waivered. There have been times of trial, and more significantly fear, when I have felt my testimony start to suffer. I have asked those questions of Why? However each and every one of those experiences has strengthened my testimony and given new life to the the way I see faith.

My two favorite quotes concerning faith are “Faith is not simply believing, its acting” and “Faith is the opposite of fear”.

Quick background, I was baptized at the age of 8 but my family was never active for very long growing up. At the age of 15 we moved to Utah and through the amazing friendships I made, and one life changing experience at EFY I developed my own testimony and became active in the church. I attended Brigham Young University. I was called to be the Relief Society President in my very first ward and was at a complete loss of what this even meant.  I was unsure of my abilities to take on such a roll. I was talking to my great grandmother, a spiritual giant, and who has since passed away. She told me some things that have stuck with me. First she said “God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies those he calls,” and then asked me if I have faith in my Father in Heaven to mold me into the woman he needs me to be. I of course responded yes, and she said, “well then get to work! Faith isn’t simply believing, its acting.” (I am not sure who the original quote is by. I remember her saying something about that but I couldn’t find it online) That year was seriously a whirlwind. I was taking a full load of classes, working, and having a ton of fun. I grew to love the church in a whole new way. Serving my sisters and learning from them gave me a steadfast testimony in the work behind faith. We cant expect our faith be unwavering if we are unwilling to reach deep inside ourselves, serve others, and push to gain greater knowledge of our Father in Heaven and Savior Jesus Christ. I go back to these scriptures all of the time, mainly when I am needing that motivation to push forward: James 2:26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also, James 1:22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, and Alma 32:27 Awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith.

The second quote has helped me rise out of the most trying experience of my life. In December of 2012 we lost our first pregnancy to miscarriage at 10 weeks. Prior to this loss we had prayed fervently on whether or not it was the right time to bring children into our eternal family. With a resounding answer of peace we found out we were pregnant that first month. In my heart it felt so right. We had waited for the right time and once that came things happened quickly. I was already so in love with this tiny life and my future as a mother. The moment they told us there wasn’t a heart beat my world came crashing down. I tried so desperately to not let those questions and fears enter my heart, but they did. I became fearful that my righteous desire and dream to be a mother would never happen here. That I may never carry a baby to full term. So many women go through infertility (something I feel so blessed to not have had to experience), and one out of every four women will experience a miscarriage in their life time. Regardless I felt alone. Garren was a wonderful support, but it didn’t effect him the way it effected me. One night, while Garren was back east at a PT School interview I broke down and let my heart out to the Lord. I told him how mad I was, how sad I felt, and how truly fearful I was of the future. I knew I had two choices. I could let this experience ruin my testimony or I could find the light of Christ in this moment, allow myself to learn from this small tragedy and push forward in faith. I told my Father in Heaven that I refused to give into the fear the advesary would have me fall into and that I knew the Lord’s plan for me truly was perfect. That night I felt more peace than I had ever felt. My Father in Heaven comforted me and gave me the answers my heart yearned for. I knew from that moment on we would conceive again, I would hold this next baby in my arms, and I even told Garren I knew with a surety we would get pregnant that following May. The next 5 months, any time I felt the fear creep in, I did something about it. I knelt down to prayer, asked for a priesthood blessing or read the words of God through our prophets in the scriptures. I will tell you I failed many times, but I didn’t let the failure consume me and pressed forward.

Faith is the most important attribute we can hold while here on earth. I testify that we do have the choice to serve our fellow man and to believe the words of our Father in Heaven. We are so very loved by Him and because of our Savior Jesus Christ we will return to him. The life we lead is up to us. A life in faith will bring about so much happiness, a happiness that has no place for fear.

Read More Testimony Tuesday Entries here:

 

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