We have been parents for a very short time so far, three weeks to be exact. We thought it would be fun to document all the little stories that keep us laughing!
The First Explosive Poop
When Blair was about a week old I was up for her 3:00 am feeding. I had just taken off her dirty diaper, and like a rookie let her naked bum hang out on the changing mat sitting on our bed. I was grabbing another diaper when I heard an explosion and felt warm liquid cover me. My daughter had in fact sprayed poop all over me. I was half awake prior to this so it took a minute to register what had just happened. Then I did what any normal person would do. I put a diaper on her, went into the room my sister in law was sleeping in and declared, “There is poop every where and I don’t know what to do!” Thankfully Heather was wonderful and took Blair so I could access the damage. I went in and found poop all over our sheets, all over my stomach, and some on the wall behind me. I am not sure how she had this much trajectory, really it’s impressive. I tried to get Garren to get up so I could change the sheets but he was pretty out of it and told me to wipe it up and we could change them the next day. I did my best to clean it up and then hopped into the shower. The next night I hear Garren trying to call my name while laughing hysterically, apparently I had missed a very large drip of poop going down our wall. We still laugh thinking about it. I wish I had taken a picture… which is probably gross in and of itself.
The Second Explosive Poop
A few days ago Garren was changing Blair’s diaper. Deniece was commenting on how good she is about getting her bum changed. She had literally just said, “Look how calm she is,” When the all too familiar explosion is heard. Garren literally jumped as he was sprayed with poop. It narrowly missed his face. Deniece and I nearly peed our pants we were laughing so hard, mostly at Garren’s reaction. The best part is when Blair does this she has literally no build up and no reaction. You can’t tell she is about to poop and she doesn’t react once she does. Mainly I was just excited that I was no longer the only one to get pooped on.
Mom is ALWAYS right
Blair hardly ever spits up. In fact, before last night she had only spit up twice in her short life. Each time was the same. She spit up a little bit, followed by a waterfall of spit up. (Both times this occurred because she comfort nursed after having already ate for a good amount of time, so I am pretty sure she was just overly full) So last night when Garren was changing her and I saw the little spit up happening I told him to pick her up and burp her because she was going to spit up every where and threw him a towel. He stood up and said, “Why do you think that’s going to happen,” with a very skeptical undertone. Basically he thought I was being ridiculous when BAM waterfall of spit up running down is shirt and on to the floor. He then sarcastically made fun of himself and vowed to pay more attention to me when I say something. (Meh we’ll see) Blair reacts the exact same way to spitting up as she does to pooping. It doesn’t affect her at all.