Separation Anxiety

So ever since we got married the most amount of time we have spent apart is one night. Yes I have been very spoiled. I am now on night number two (out of three) of our current separation. Garren is in Virginia to interview for Shenandoah University’s Physical Therapy program. It’s an amazing program and we are so blessed to have this opportunity.

Garren is one of the hardest workers I have ever met and his optimistic spirit is exactly why I needed to marry him. I am a worrier. I get migraines from stress and tend to freak out. A lot. With every thing that has happened in our lives the past month or so I have been slowly unraveling. To be honest it’s frightening. I have been ‘depressed’ before and have always suffered from anxiety, however, this has been different. I haven’t known how to cope with losing something so precious and real. I’ve read so many amazing talks from General Authorities, spent hours on my knee’s talking to my Father in Heaven, and obviously spent a good amount of time crying. This has all helped tremendously but some where along the way I forgot to hope.

I spent so much time grieving this definite separation from our child that I forgot to look forward. This is why the man I married has literally saved me. He never loses that eternal perspective and when he tells me that we are not far away from holding our baby in our arms I can’t not believe him. He has taught me that this is not something I have to get over, it’s something that will help me move forward and bring me closer to obtaining Christ-like attributes. The moment I was told I lost my baby I gained empathy for 25% of the female population. Can you believe that? 25% of women will miscarry. I can’t tell you how many times I have registered women at work who were going through this exact thing. Yes, I have always felt bad for them, but my heart never truly understood.

I know everything happens for a reason, and while I still have moments when I ask why me? Why our first baby? I will never doubt that I am very loved by both people here on earth and beyond the veil.

Any way, Garren’s travels didn’t go as planned today but he never got stressed or sounded upset. He just kept telling me not to worry; he was sure it would all work out. He was right. He is now sleeping soundly at a very kind Bishop’s house in Virginia. He will wake up and rock his interview tomorrow and Wednesday he is coming home to me! I will finally have my husband back for three precious weeks before his next (and final undergrad) semester begins :)

 

I love technology, even from thousands of miles away I get to see and talk to this cute face.

Google Hangout :)

Google Hangout :)

 

P.S Garren was offered another interview in New Jersey AND he gets to do it on the phone. Blessings.

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