Moving/Yard Sale!

Well we are moving out of our apartment next Saturday, and staying with my Uncle until we move to New Hampshire in August. After thinking long and hard we have come to the conclusion we need to sell all our furniture and just take the necessities with us on the cross country journey. This will literally save us THOUSANDS of dollars.

This also makes me so sad, because the majority of our furniture we found at thrift stores or estate sales,  then refinished them ourselves. Luckily Garren’s parents will store our kitchen table for us (way to amazing to sale) and are buying my beloved dresser.

The rest is up for grabs! The yard sale will be Saturday April 13th from 9:00 am – until we either run out of stuff to sell or it gets to dark!

The sale will be located at 1175 North, Northfield Road on a grassy area near the apartment complex. There will be signs and balloons letting you know exactly where it is! Hope to see you all there!

We are selling:

• Couch and Love Seat
• 2 Tv Stands
• 2 night stands
• Refinished Antique Sewing table
• Desk
• Refinished Spindle Changing Table
• Love Sac
• Lamps
• Dishes/Glasses/Vases ect
• Bouncer Chair/Foot rest
• End Tables
• Magic Bullet/George Foreman/Electric Skillet
• Fondue Maker/Ice Cream Maker/Snow Cone Maker
• Small charcoal grill
• 6 Wooden table chairs
• An old Dell Inspiron 1545 Laptop (Works great but needs a new Batter)
• Backbacks/laptop case/coolers
• AND SO MUCH MORE

Every thing has to go so come make your best offers!

Below are some pictures of a few of the things we are selling!

Solid wood Dresser

Bouncer Chair and Foot Rest

TV Stand and TV

Cuddle Bug (Love Sac)

End Tables (2 total)

Girl Car Seat (Great Condition)

Magic Bullet (Used only a few times with ALL attachments)

Refinished antique sewing table (Crystal Knobs on drawers not in photo)

Tan Micro fiber couch. Love Seat is identical

Desk and Chair

Refinished spindle changing table (white/giraffe print)

Ice Cream Maker

2009 Dell Inspiron Runs great but needs new battery

Finding Happiness

The past 5 months have been a complete roller coaster.

In that time we:

• Found out we were expecting our first baby.
• We lost our baby
• we applied to grad school
• We were denied or put on a lot of wait lists and realized we needed a plan B
• My hours were cut at work
• We devised a plan B and became excited about it
• We found out Garren was accepted into Franklin Pierce’s DPT progam
• My Grandpa died

It’s been really crazy and to be honest I thought I could never handle some of the trials that had been thrown at us. However we have made our way through it together and have learned so much in the process.

I am a planner. A crazy planner. I have to plan every detail of every event well before it’s going to take place. Clearly most of the things that have transpired in the last 5 months can’t be ‘planned for’. This is when I realized I have to relinquish my control. I don’t get to decide if Garren gets into grad school, I don’t get to decide if I will have the opportunity of caring my next baby to full term. All I get to decide is how I react to the life I lead. I can wallow in self misery and pity, or I can find happiness. I am so very blessed. I have a husband who would do anything for me, a family who loves and supports us, and a Father in Heaven who is so aware Me.

My grandma just lost the love of her life. She is the epitome of strength, virtue and happiness. She has been through so many hardships in her life, but upon meeting her you would never know. She literally glows. I pray one day to be a tenth of the woman she is. For now I will take the lessons of patience, forgiveness,  and submission to heart and challenge myself to let go of how I think my life should play out. The Lord knows what I am capable of, he knows the path my life will lead. I just need to hold on and make the most of it, cherishing all the good that is in store for us.

If nothing else, we get to wake up in the morning and decide, will this be a good day, or will I let it be a bad day. Happiness is a choice, some days it’s harder to make that decision, but it is there waiting for us to grasp it.

I am so excited for the next chapter in our lives. I am so proud of my husband for his hard work and determination. He is going to make an amazing Physical Therapist.

New Hampshire here we come

The day we found out he got into Franklin Pierce!

 

P.S. We got to go visit Garren’s brother/sister in law and our nieces and nephews in Montana a few weeks ago. It was so fun! WE WILL live in Montana one day.

SO EXCITED AND READY FOR CONFERENCE THIS WEEKEND.

Valentine’s Day and President’s Day

This year on Valentines day we kept it pretty low key, went about our daily routine of school, work, gym and then we went out to eat to Centro Pizza and watched Valentine’s Day at home. I gave Garren 14 presents on the 14th minute of every hour. It was fun He got me gorgeous flowers and a plant for my desk at work. It smells amazing. I love that i will forever have the best Valentine ever!

I made Garren a bouquet of bacon roses as his first present

Finished wrapping all his little presents

Going out to dinner! PINK!

Now to President’s Day! Today! Two years ago on President’s Day (02-21-2011) Garren took me snow shoeing. It was 6 miles total, 3 of them being completely up hill. It was killer. I honestly thought he was trying to kill me. Once we got to the top (which over looks Cedar Breaks) he got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. Let me tell you that strenuous hike became completely worth it. We thought it would be fun to recreate that day today. We got the same sandwiches, rented the snowshoes and made our way up the mountain. We have been going to the gym 4 times a week the past couple months so I thought, sweet! I am in much better shape this time I will make it. Ya, no. I wanted to die. We made it to the top though and reminisced about that wonderful day two years ago. It was so beautiful and QUIET! I am so grateful Garren asked me to marry him. He is by far the greatest blessing in my life and my best friend. We have been through a lot together, some of it not so easy. However I know with him by my side we can get through anything.

Ready to go!

The view from the top

Garren at the top, his dimple kills me Love.

Taking a picture at the exact spot he proposed

Feeling dead and gross at the end!

Garren was glad to be in the car to

A Great Balance

So I recently found this fun site archetypeme.com. It’s BASICALLY a interest like site designed around your specific personality. They have a fun little quiz to determine the strongest parts of your personality and mold your profile around these aspects.

I made Garren participate and it was fun to see where we are the same and how we are different

The Results:

Garren’s

Mine

I love that we are both very caring and spiritual people. Seeing eye to eye on those concepts and feeling that support from your spouse is crucial to a successful and happy marriage.

The intellectual/visionary difference makes me laugh because of one simple story:

We had been married for about a month when we were driving around singing in the car. I asked Garren “Do you think I will be able to sing well in Heaven?” He didn’t even stop to think about it before he said “No”.
Yes my poor little feelings were hurt! We talked about it later: His “intellectual” way of forming an answer was that I obviously ( and painfully) cannot sing, so why would I’ve able to in heaven? I, on the other hand, envisioned a Heaven where not only my body, soul, and home were perfected but also my talents. ( or lack of)

Don’t worry I don’t hold it against him… He has to listen time sing. Punishment enough.

I am grateful to have a husband who keeps me grounded but also believes in my dreams.

A Test in Empathy and Faith

The last two months have been some of the most trying months of our lives. However they have also been filled with so much love and enlightenment. While I pray I never need to go through this trial again, I am so grateful for the amazing people in my life, mostly my best friend/husband and the lessons I have learned about empathy, faith and myself.

In the past whenever I heard someone had miscarried I instantly felt sad for them. However, I also, naively, thought to myself “at least they can try again, they must be so strong to have been given this trial, and that will never happen to me” .

When people heard we had lost our baby they were automatically there to comfort us and give us advice as to why this happened. We got a lot of “This is God’s plan for you, every thing happens for a reason, and that I will have a baby one day very soon and to not lose hope.” Now let me be clear, these are the same things I would have said had I been the one offering comfort and they are 100% true. I am so aware and in awe of the fact that my Father in Heaven knows who I am and loves me so very much. Unfortunately I found myself struggling with these comforting words. It just wasn’t something I needed nor wanted to hear while going through this.

I hated myself for this. I know that everyone was coming from a very loving and optimistic place. Well I was reading in the bible one night and I came to John 11. If you are unfamiliar, this is the story of Lazarus. I was stuck straight to my core as I read verse 35 that reads ” Jesus wept.” These two words have taught me so much about empathy. As I looked back I realized the most comforting words people said to me were “I am so sorry”. Jesus didn’t try to give them a lesson about God’s plan, or life after death to his sisters. He knew they not only knew but also believed those sweet principles of the gospel. He simply wept and shared their grief with them.

Some times life is really hard, and we are tested past the limits we once thought we could handle. Grief is such an important step to recovering from these trials. Please understand that I am not mad or ungrateful for the beautiful words every one has said to me, as I know we are so very loved. I have just realized in my own life how to approach those who are grieving and when is the right time to offer advice and when it is simply necessary to grieve with some one.

I am so happy to say that I am doing much better. I still have moments, even days when I am consumed by the sadness and desire to have my baby, however most days I am just so grateful to have a loving husband and the knowledge of  a Father in Heaven and an Elder brother who has given his life for me.

We are currently waiting to hear back from grad schools, and to hopefully be accepted off the wait list for Shenandoah University. This is definitely a test of my patience but I do believe I am getting much better at doing my best and handing the rest over to the Lord. I can’t control everything, much to my dismay, and sometimes faith is all we truly need.

Garren and I are also doing FABULOUS at going to the gym and eating healthy. Thanks to skinnytaste.com and myfitnesspal.com I have lost 7lbs so far. HECK YES

My Neighbors Pet Elephant

We have these neighbors who, to put it nicely, are on the loud side. Their TV is always blaring, they vacuum after midnight, they play the tuba at odd hours and tend to have very loud conversations. All of this was manageable because, well heck, that’s what happens when you live in an apartment.

However today, a line was crossed. I am quite certain they have an elephant over there. I could hear them playing the tuba, with a very loud, bass thumping song blaring out the radio while their new pet took turns jumping up and down and ramming into my walls. The first two hours I seethed with annoyance in silence. Then my picture frames started falling off the walls. I called the Landlord… she told me to call the police. I have never called the police on some one and really didn’t want to bother them with my noisy neighbors so I waited. We reached the 4 hour mark when my book shelf started swaying, and down it went.

Some of the noise damage… I wish I took a picture before I started cleaning up!

I picked up the phone and called the (non emergency line) police. They were here in no time and I have joyous silence again.

Except for the fact that I am hiding on my floor as the neighbors knock on my door saying such things as “I know the are here, this is their only car,” and  “I can’t believe they called the cops! That’s ridiculous,” and other things I can’t quite make out.

I am fairly certain they want to physically harm me.

In other news Garren is on his way to Rhode Island (via the Boston Airport) for an interview with the University of Rhode Island! Exciting stuff my friends. Shenandoah University will be letting us know his admissions decision next week…That’s our top choice so fingers crossed!

 

 

 

Separation Anxiety

So ever since we got married the most amount of time we have spent apart is one night. Yes I have been very spoiled. I am now on night number two (out of three) of our current separation. Garren is in Virginia to interview for Shenandoah University’s Physical Therapy program. It’s an amazing program and we are so blessed to have this opportunity.

Garren is one of the hardest workers I have ever met and his optimistic spirit is exactly why I needed to marry him. I am a worrier. I get migraines from stress and tend to freak out. A lot. With every thing that has happened in our lives the past month or so I have been slowly unraveling. To be honest it’s frightening. I have been ‘depressed’ before and have always suffered from anxiety, however, this has been different. I haven’t known how to cope with losing something so precious and real. I’ve read so many amazing talks from General Authorities, spent hours on my knee’s talking to my Father in Heaven, and obviously spent a good amount of time crying. This has all helped tremendously but some where along the way I forgot to hope.

I spent so much time grieving this definite separation from our child that I forgot to look forward. This is why the man I married has literally saved me. He never loses that eternal perspective and when he tells me that we are not far away from holding our baby in our arms I can’t not believe him. He has taught me that this is not something I have to get over, it’s something that will help me move forward and bring me closer to obtaining Christ-like attributes. The moment I was told I lost my baby I gained empathy for 25% of the female population. Can you believe that? 25% of women will miscarry. I can’t tell you how many times I have registered women at work who were going through this exact thing. Yes, I have always felt bad for them, but my heart never truly understood.

I know everything happens for a reason, and while I still have moments when I ask why me? Why our first baby? I will never doubt that I am very loved by both people here on earth and beyond the veil.

Any way, Garren’s travels didn’t go as planned today but he never got stressed or sounded upset. He just kept telling me not to worry; he was sure it would all work out. He was right. He is now sleeping soundly at a very kind Bishop’s house in Virginia. He will wake up and rock his interview tomorrow and Wednesday he is coming home to me! I will finally have my husband back for three precious weeks before his next (and final undergrad) semester begins

 

I love technology, even from thousands of miles away I get to see and talk to this cute face.

Google Hangout

 

P.S Garren was offered another interview in New Jersey AND he gets to do it on the phone. Blessings.

Trials and Friendship

So I have this best friend. She is my best friend in the entire universe ( besides my wonderful husband Garren). We have been friends since the day I move to Cedar City  almost 9 years ago. ( Yes we …

Angel Baby

I have dreaded writing this but I feel strongly that I need to. I know so many people have gone through this and their stories and words of comfort helped me. I am grateful for the love and support of our family at this hard time in our lives and I find peace and comfort in the gospel of Jesus Christ. On October 26th we found out we were pregnant. The joy we felt was completing. Our family was growing, we were going to be parents. On November 20th we had our first and only ultra sound. There was no heart beat, and the baby had stopped growing at 4 weeks. The pain and anguish we felt is not something I can describe and I would never wish it upon any one. I feel grateful to have a husband who holds me when I cry and who will always be there for me. I felt like I had so much to say to my baby that would never come so I wrote my angel a letter.

Dear Angel Baby,

The moment I saw those two pink lines I fell hard and fast. I loved you more than I will ever be able to put down into words. My entire life has been about getting to that moment. The point when I could say “I am a mother.” I cherished ever bout of nausea, stab of heart burn and every single trip to the bathroom to once again pee. It just meant you were growing big and strong with in me. I dreamed of the day I would hold you in my arms, kiss your sweet face and tell you I love you.

Your dad and I stayed up late many nights talking about how excited we were to be your parents. We spent countless hours trying to find you a perfect name and thought of all the things we would teach you as you grew up. When we went to the doctor I was so excited to see your tiny heart beating. The silence and empty hole on the ultra sound screen was the worst 5 minutes of my life. You were ripped away from us. How do we say goodbye before having a chance to properly say hello?

My heart aches knowing your sweet spirit and laughter will never brighten our home here on earth. I yearn to know if you would have had your daddy’s dimple and my blue eyes; what your voice would have sounded like, what it would have felt like to hold you against my chest. I grieve for our loss, the what-ifs and the what-could-have-beens. I know this is not something a person gets over and forgets. Please know you have a safe place in my heart, where I will always cherish you, and the joy you have brought me these past 7 weeks. I may never hold you in my arms but I have carried you, and will continue to do so always.

I take solace knowing you are among angels and with a Father in Heaven who loves you so completely. Please know there are many people here who love you  and you will never be forgotten. The day we found out we were going to be parents will forever be one of the greatest days of my life, and the day we lost you: the worst. I love you Angel Baby.

Love forever and always,

Your mom

We are healing and every day gets better. It’s crazy to think this all took place less than two weeks ago. It honestly feels like months have occurred. While I wish we never had to go through this, I do know it will make me stronger and hopefully more empathetic with the trials others have gone through. I hope to grow and become a better wife, daughter, mother, sister, and friend. I am sorry this isn’t the happiest of posts but I know experiences liken these are what help us truly treasure then good moments in life. I know that when I do hold my precious baby for the first time it will be that much sweeter.

‘Tis the Season for Interviews

As every one knows Garren is in the Process of applying to Grad school. We are starting to hear back from them and so far he has been offered three interviews!

1. St. Augustine University in Florida. ( we had too decline this one because they don’t offer the Grad Plus Loan and we don’t actually have a 100 grand lying around)

2. Shenandoah University in Winchester, Va. It will be on December 18th!

3. Bellarmine University in Louisville, Ky. This one will be on January 11th.

Both are great schools and high on our list so fingers crossed! We should be hearing back from the rest in the next month or so.